Fun Predictions for 2019

By Robert Haugh

Newly elected City Clerk Hosam Haggag starts his first council meeting with a speech. It doesn’t end until after midnight. The City Council has to cancel its meeting. But we learn a lot about bees.

Teresa O’Neill starts her first VTA meeting as chair with a special challenge. She wants the organization to stop being one of the worst transit agencies in America.  But she can’t get a consensus. There’s no quorum. Most of the VTA board members are taking transit to the meeting and are late.

A huge riot breaks out at a major international soccer game at Levi’s Stadium. Police Chief Mike Sellers downplays it. He says it’s an argument about a parking space. Then, Sellers announces that he’s retiring to play Sergeant Shultz in the remake of Hogan’s Heroes.


Raj Chahal claims at a council meeting that he’s the first minority to serve as both a City Councilmember and visit the Moon. Reporters point out that he’s not the first minority. And that he’s never been in outer space. Chahal ignores them.

The Raiders decide to play their last season in the Bay Area at Levi’s Stadium. Northside residents take measures to protect their homes.  Home Depot runs out of barbed wire.

The Santa Clara Weekly’s top reporter Carolyn Schuk follows a tip that disgraced former Councilmember Dominic Caserta is now a bartender at the Normandy House. But she decides not to a write a story after she investigates. The bartender is wearing a fake mustache and says his name is “Cominic Daserta.”

Patty Mahan continues her bad habit of interrupting everyone. This year she goes too far.  She interrupts the Pledge of Allegiance at a council meeting.









  1. Thanks, Robert for the great laughs. I clicked on the Sgt Shultz link and laughed so hard that I spit up my Diet Coke. Shultz and Sellers do look and act alike.

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